Pick it up you lazy bitch!

Today’s blog is commuting related. It’s been a while since I’ve done one so I thought hey, what the hell. There’s nothing else going on in my life and if you don’t like it you can do one.

Anyway.

Tiny suitcases.

Is there really any need?

Every morning I walk through the hideous rat run underneath Clapham Junction station to get to my platform. Inevitably it’s heaving with miserable commuters wearily trudging through. Nobody enjoys it but unfortunately it's a necessary evil. However, it’s not made any easier by the fuckwits who insist on dragging the most miniscule suitcase behind them and tripping everyone up. They have absolutely no clue.

This morning I saw a woman (and I’m afraid it is always a woman) doing exactly that. She tripped up 3 people within the 50 metres or so that I was following her. And it’s not a case of people not looking where they’re going. When the corridor is cramped, you can barely see the floor as it is. In situations like that surely it makes sense to pick up your bag. Especially if it is the size of a shoebox.

But no.

These women are utterly oblivious to how annoying they’re being. They look over their shoulder with furrowed brow at the ‘imbecile’ who has just disrupted the path of their precious cargo. Of course, they never say sorry. They don’t have anything to apologise for. They’re just minding their own business after all.

NO YOU’RE NOT!

YOU’RE BEING A FUCKWIT!

I don’t have a problem with ‘draggable’ suitcases per se, but only if they’re relatively big. I’ve got one that I take on holiday. That’s fine. It’s just the tiny, pointless ones. They weigh nothing. They’re not cumbersome. They have handles. PICK THEM UP!

What made it particularly irritating this morning was that after following the woman on her tripping rampage, she began climbing the same steps as me up to the platform. She stopped at the bottom, pushed in the ridiculously long handle and lifted the bag like it was made of nothing but air. I swear there was nothing in it. Maybe one shoe.

I overtook her on the steps and briefly considered giving her a taste of her own medicine.

“I’m sorry. Did my foot get in the way of your face?”

However, I reconsidered. My new plan is to buy an even tinier suitcase and insist on walking right in front of her every single morning. I might even stop sporadically to check the time.

That’ll teach her.

Lazy bitch.