Must try harder

I hate meeting new people.

It’s so stressful. And I’m crap at it as many of my prior blogs will attest. I find it hard to remember the names of people I’ve known for years, let alone the name of some weirdo who I’ve no intention of seeing again. I don’t like people who are overly friendly either. It makes me uncomfortable and always leads me to the conclusion that they’re planning on murdering me – in my sleep.

Apparently meeting new people is supposed to be an enriching life experience. You can learn from them and develop as a human being. You can broaden your cultural awareness and revitalise your attitude towards life. Bollocks. Most people I meet are entirely incompatible with me due to a combination of personality disorders (theirs and mine), speech impediments, stupidity and weird mouths. They have dull names and dull interests – like the weather and their favourite type of bean (I’ve actually had that conversation). Unfortunately it can take some time do discover this incompatibility and quash the stillborn relationship which makes the whole trauma even more depressing.

I would love to be more honest with new people and for it to be acceptable. If I could skip the false pleasantries and move directly to witty repartee (or not) then I would be a happy man. But no - ‘society’ says that’s rude. How is not wanting to waste yours and someone else’s time rude? I’m not suggesting you tell them to fuck off but surely your time is better spent cultivating existing relationships that you know to be worthwhile rather than flogging a dead horse?

However, sometimes I think that maybe I should make more of an effort. Occasionally I wonder if I've deprived myself of some wonderful relationships simply by killing them off too soon. But then I go on Youtube and watch a cat video and forget about it.

I’m sure that there are some great people out there who, due to my intolerance, I am destined to drop too soon. I must try harder. Meeting new people will improve my social skills and general attitude towards humanity as well I’m sure. But I wont enjoy it. It will be a struggle that I will have to endure.

And anyway, I don’t want too many friends. I may have to drop some of you if I meet anyone new who I like.

I wouldn’t fret about it too much though...