If I knew you better, I’d tell you to shut the fuck up.

For those of you who don’t know, my new thing is rowing – or sculling to be precise. Yeh that’s right, I know the lingo. I joined a club a few months ago and consequently added a second barrel to my surname – I’m now called Alexander Huntington – Cuff. Sounds good doesn’t it? I’m also considering buying a peerage. Sir Alexander Huntington – Cuff. I should be on Downton Abbey. Wooo the new series started last night!

 I don’t get it…

Anyway, my dreams of period drama acting aside, I actually really enjoy rowing and would thoroughly recommend it to anyone who hates the gym as much as I do. Basically anyone who would rather watch Deal Or No Deal on repeat than get on a cross-trainer. Noel Edmonds is such a weirdo, but preferable to spinning… just.

On Saturday, I faced my biggest challenge yet. I took part in the Great Thames River Race. (No I hadn’t heard of it either.) You start in Canary Wharf and row all the way through central London to Ham near Richmond. It works out at about 22 miles so it’s pretty hardcore. I think about 350 crews took part ranging from brick shit-house Norwegian Vikings to thoroughly unimpressed 14 year old girls. You won’t be surprised to hear our ability erred more on the 14 year old girl side. But it was still really good fun and satisfying to finish – without sinking.

We only had one pile up but we did manage to involve 3 other boats! After all, if you’re going to fuck up, you might as well do it properly. And this is where the theme of this week's blog stems from – believe it or not I do have a point.

Stressful situations with strangers.

It’s a minefield. I only knew one person in my crew and the others were all colleagues so knew each other relatively well. But as the weather turned and the novelty began to wear off, tempers inevitably frayed. I was at the front so it was my responsibility to set the rhythm for the people behind me. I can do this. It’s not difficult. I do it twice a week. But unfortunately some of the people behind me seemed to find copying a bit too complicated. However, rather than just sort it out, I would get cries of;

‘Alex, you’re not in rhythm!’

‘Erm, I’m setting the rhythm. If we’re not going at the same rate then that’s because you’re not in fucking rhythm!’

…was what I wanted to say. But these people were strangers. I don’t know the etiquette. They were perfectly nice when we were on dry land but became aggravated bastards on the water. So I had to suck it up. It was galling but what could I do? I was the outsider. As much as they clearly didn’t share the view, I didn’t want them to hate me immediately. I'm used to it normally taking a couple of days at least.

So be warned. If you ever agree to take part in an event with a bunch of strangers that could prove stressful, mentally prepare yourself beforehand.

Don’t intentionally steer your boat into 3 other boats in the hope that some of your crew might fall overboard…