I’m so “sorry”.

Following on from the Evening Standard’s article about a pissed off mother-in-law’s email, I’m dedicating this blog to one of my bugbears, unnecessary rudeness.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m all for rudeness as many of you will attest. But only when it’s funny. Or at least when it’s funny for me.

I don’t have many friends…

But rudeness that is in no way funny, nor intended to be so is just tedious and annoying. Take the article that I’ve referenced. I don’t know if you’ve read it but the tone certainly suggested to me that this mother-in-law is an awful, clichéd nightmare. And I’m sure she is, to an extent. BUT. Many of her comments seemed entirely reasonable! Here’s a selection:

• ·      When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will or will not eat, unless you have a severe aversion.
• ·      You do not start before everyone else.
• ·      You do not publicly insult the family you’re intending to join.

I like the last one. I bet it was funny.

I don’t mean to sound like the aforementioned clichéd nightmare but they all seem fair enough and it sounds like the fiancé in question is probably a bit of a dick. I expect that this is a bad example but people who value manners aren’t necessarily stuck up twats and it’s a shame that, certainly in London, they’re often labeled as such.

Now I’m sorry to get all London-centric on you but from my limited experience of UK cities, it is definitely the most condensed bubble of insolence. If you don’t experience some sort of anti-social behaviour everyday, I’d be amazed.

For example, what is it with people holding their mobile phones in front of their face with the volume set to maximum? Why can’t you hold the phone to your ear like a normal person? Why do you think everyone else wants to hear both sides of your shit conversation? Why do you act almost surprised that you’re having to shout down the phone when your holding it two feet from your face?! Idiots.

Also, why do people feel the need to shout down the train carriage, ‘Can you move down please?’ in an exasperated tone when there is clearly nowhere to go? Sorry that I was standing nearer the door than you and got on the train before you, but I’m having to stand as well, so shut the hell up! No one is enjoying the journey and your misplaced indignation is just making it worse. 

I thought that I didn’t mind commuting but it’s starting to get to me. I’m sure some people like the familiar faces every morning but I don’t. The polite nods. The staid smiles. The occasional comment on the weather. It’s just boring. Although I don’t know what I’d talk about if I didn’t commute everyday?! 

Maybe I should get on a different carriage. A change of scene and a whole new bunch of weirdoes to write about! I’m a genius!

Watch this space.