Enough now.

The resentment is already building up inside me.

Why am I giving this topic an ounce of my time? Seriously. Why? I know I’m the only one who can control it but I feel that this is a painful issue I can’t put off any longer. The mere word sends a shiver down my spine…

Hollyoaks.

I actually shuddered when I wrote that.

First of all, let’s get this straight. I am NOT an avid Hollyoaks fan. I know you’re probably thinking ‘yeh, yeh whatever’, but trust me. I will admit that I have been partial to the odd omnibus on Sunday mornings. But mainly because I’m either hungover or my brain function at that moment of the week is roughly on a par with the intended audience, ie; spastics.

BUT.

Yesterday, despite having a fairly low brain function, it wasn’t low enough for the ridiculousness that is the current storyline. And I’m annoyed with myself for persevering with it. They should use enforced Hollyoaks watching in Guantanamo Bay. I have no doubt that suspected terrorists would cave within minutes.

Basically, there’s a murderer on the loose in Hollyoaks (snore) and the least popular girls from the annual calendar are being picked off one by one. No one has noticed that, purely by coincidence of course, a creepy old man, who seems to have unlimited access to all of the crime scenes, appeared on the scene at the time of the first murder. As I say, it’s just a coincidence though. Of course, it wouldn’t be a true crap murder storyline if there wasn’t another character who knew exactly who the murderer was. But, predictably, as she professes the guilt of the killer to anyone who’ll listen she’s met with; “I’m really worried about you. I think you need to speak to someone”.

How dull.

As I watched this story progress (at a snail’s pace I might add) I actually got exhausted with the sheer laziness of the writing. I found myself shouting at the characters for the stupidity they were each, in turn, employing. Of course, I have no one to blame but myself. I could have turned over. And undoubtedly I will watch the omnibus next Sunday morning and have the exact same experience.

And then I’ll moan about it.

Oh…

…I’ve just worked out why I watch it.

I love moaning.

I love Hollyoaks.